Don't Look Back
by Nori-239
Summary: This is my version of what went on when Soubi first met Ritsu after his parents died. I strongly recommend you have some Kleenex tissues at hand if you read this. Some spoilers for vol. 7 of the manga!


**Warning: Have a box of Kleenex tissues close by!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless or anything...blah blah blah.**

**Don't Look Back**

Agatsuma Soubi hated hospitals. They're always cold and they always smell of stale disinfectant and icky medicines. His hands were covering his face, mainly to block the odd smells, but also to keep his hands warm with his own breath. Long sleeves or no he was freezing and his achy body was trembling.

"Here you go." The nurse, an elderly woman with a warm grandmotherly face, handed him one of those starchy blankets that felt like burlap; like the ones you find in fire emergency bags. She wrapped it around his shoulders and patted his head between his fuzzy blond cat ears. "You're a very brave little boy."

Brave? He didn't feel very brave. He was scared! One minute he'd been in the car with his mother and father, peacefully resting in the back seat, and the next he'd slipped out of his seatbelt into the floorboard. The jolt had startled him bad enough, but the sounds…

There were grinding noises and sharp crashes of metal and glass. He was face down on the carpeted floor and felt everything compacting in around him. He couldn't move more than an inch and it felt like he couldn't breathe. He tried calling for his mother and father but they weren't answering him. Panicking, he began to cry and that only made his breathing even more difficult. He'd blacked out and when he came to he was in the hospital in the children's pediatric ward. He didn't have any injuries other than a few small bruises here and there but the doctors who'd come in to check on him had told him his parents weren't so lucky.

"It's fortunate that you slipped out of your seatbelt in the collision." One doctor had told him, but he didn't feel very fortunate. He felt horrible. He was perfectly okay, but his parents were hurt and lying in intensive care. So here he sat, in a chair outside the ICU, with a blanket around him and trying not to show how scared he truly felt. There wasn't a clock around to tell him how long he'd been waiting, so to occupy his time he watched the flow of doctors and patients come and go.

He must have dozed off because, once again, he awoke with a start. This time it wasn't from a jolt or loud crashes, but by a gentle hand on his shoulder. It was the doctor who had inspected him after he'd woken up in the pediatric ward. He'd motioned for Soubi to follow him through the big doors of the ICU and for a moment Soubi felt elated as he jumped up and left the starchy blanket behind on the chair. He was going to see his parents and maybe, after a little while longer, they could go home. Home; away from the sickly smelling, cold, hospital and back to the warmth of their house. In his mind he thought the first thing he was going to do when he saw his parents was give his mother a big hug.

"Here he is." The doctor informed as he opened the door to a room. Inside were two empty beds to the left side of the room and on the right side were two occupied beds. But something wasn't right. Not in any hospital had he ever seen someone tucked into bed with the blankets over their heads. Standing beside one of the beds, in the isle separating the two, was a tall man with pale, almost silver, blue hair and glasses. The doctor's hand squeezed Soubi's shoulder lightly before letting him go and whispering, "You have my condolences."

Left in the room with the man Soubi felt even more afraid than he had before and his stomach felt like it was in knots. Hesitantly, he began to walk until he came to the isle between the two occupied beds. He didn't know what to do; this was all so strange and…terrifying. He could feel that something was very wrong. His throat was tightening, his mouth had gone dry, and he could no longer hold back the tears building up in his eyes.

"M-mom?" Soubi's voice came out broken and kind of squeaky, "Dad?" The tall man took a step towards him and squatted down on his haunches so he was at eye level with him. The tears were now streaming down Soubi's flushed cheeks, "I want to go home. Why won't Mom and Dad wake up?" No sooner had he asked he knew the answer. Something inside him had known from the moment he saw the blankets drawn up over their faces. He'd known since the doctor said those words of mock sympathy he'd been schooled to say but probably never to a six year old boy! Bowing his head, his cat ears and usually swishy tail weighted down, he fisted his small hands and began to rub pathetically at his overflowing eyes. He couldn't even hold back his little sobs and whimpers anymore.

"Your parents are dead." The man answered with no emotion what-so-ever. "If you can't even realize this you're a stupid kid." Something about the uncaring way he had said that was enough for Soubi to stave off his crying a bit and looked up at him again.

"W-who are you?"

"My name is Minami Ritsu. You may call me, Ritsu-sensei or just sensei." The man answered as he reached into a pocket of his suit jacket and extracted a pack of cigarettes. For a moment it looked as though he were going to light up right there in the hospital but, after a quick glance around at his surroundings once more, he seemed to decide against it and put them back. "I was once your mother's… friend."

Soubi looked over to the bed closest to the window, the one the man had been standing closest to when he'd first came in, and felt the tears trying to spill over like a broken dame again. Oddly enough, even though he knew his mother lay there lifeless, he still felt a needful compulsion to hug her. He would have given anything in that moment to do it right then; to hug her and hopefully feel some warmth still lingering there for him to take some form of comfort in.

"Were you my Mom's contact?"

"Hm?" Ritsu blinked.

"When you go to the hospital for an emergency the doctors call 'contacts' you have listed in your records." Soubi spoke very softly as a few tears slowly trickled down his face to linger at his chin, "My mom's first contact was my dad. I don't have any grandparents and neither my mom or dad had any other relatives…so for you to be here you must have been one of my mom's contacts."

"Maybe I was a contact of your father's."

"But you said you were my mom's friend. You didn't say anything about knowing my dad."

"Hm. Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." A bit of a smirk lifted one corner of Ritsu's mouth as he stood up again, "What's your name?"

"…Soubi."

"Soubi." Ritsu repeated and held out his hand, "If it's true you don't have any other relatives then come with me. I'll take care of you, Soubi-kun."

Although Soubi hadn't liked his first impression of Minami Ritsu, and still felt bitter towards the man for the 'stupid' jest, to have the man call him by name was rather pleasent. It was better than being referred to as 'the boy' and the man hadn't been completely cold hearted and made fun of his being an 'orphan' now that his parents were dead. But what truly drew Soubi to change his mind about the man was that large hand stretched out and waiting for his own. Without barely any hesitation at all he slipped his much smaller hand into that of Ritsu's grasp and instantly felt something akin to sadness and the comfort he'd been longing for.

He was comforted by the surprising warmth of that dry hand that began to lead him away from that cold room, and yet he was also saddened by it because it was taking him away from all that he'd once known. Almost out the door of the room, Soubi tugged back on Ritsu's hand, instantly getting the man's attention.

"Can I…can I see their faces once more before we go?"

"I would advise against it." Ritsu shook his head, "Remember them as they were and don't look back."

~End

I don't know the standard proceedure doctors take with children so bear with me. Please comment and tell me if it made you cry. I cried while writing it so I won't judge.


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